


the rain that fell upon the field

by Deputychairman



Series: Incendiary materials in war [4]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Except When They Do, Happy Ending, M/M, Pining, Poe makes bad decisions, and so does everybody else, threesomes don't solve anything, with good intentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 14:37:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6859069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deputychairman/pseuds/Deputychairman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn blinks at him and doesn’t let go, doesn’t try to push him off. That little line is back between his eyebrows, and it’s only a matter of time now. Finn is very smart, and if he hasn’t already caught on it’s only because he’s a good person who doesn’t want to think Poe has been misleading him about what this is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the rain that fell upon the field

The thing about the conclusions you reach in deep space is that you have to wait until you land to do anything about them. By the time you land, sometimes your conclusions aren’t quite so conclusive as they seemed when you were light years away from the person in question.

Still, Poe fully intends to talk to Finn. He really does.

This sort of conversation you have to work up to, though. He isn’t going to sit down next to Finn in the mess and launch straight into, _Hey buddy, did that requisition go through, and by the way I’m in love with you._

It’s easier to know how he shouldn’t do it than to know how he _should_ , though.

Kes sent him back with a thermo crate full of Yavin food that he can’t possibly eat all by himself, so he figures, start with the basics and then play it by ear. Inviting Finn round for dinner may not be very original, but it might still be new for Finn. More importantly, he really does want to introduce Finn to Yavin delicacies: Finn is one of those people who likes everything, and is so enthusiastic about it you feel like you’ve done something good in the galaxy just frying up sausages from your homeworld. At least, that was how Iolo put it, and Poe has no reason to doubt him.

As soon as the traders drop him back on D’Qar, Poe reports in to General Organa, gives the bottle of Yavin rum to Karé with strict instructions to share it with the rest of the squadron, and then goes looking for Finn. He finds him with Rey, of course. As soon as he sees her he realises the original plan has to change: Rey shared her food with him, he has to return the favour. She’s almost as interested in new food as Finn is.

Finn hugs him like he missed him or something. Poe hugs back and thinks he ought to let go first, but in the split second he takes to think it, Finn is already pulling back to beam at him.

“When did you get back?” he asks, hand still on Poe’s shoulder.

“Just now. I was looking for you guys: my dad’s given me a load of food from home you’ve gotta try – you wanna come by for dinner and help me eat it?”

Their faces light up.

“Yes!” says Rey as Finn says, “You can count on us!”

So it’s not exactly a promising set up for saying what he wanted to say, but Poe feels kind of good about it anyway. There’s no rush for the other thing. Maybe it’s better to take his time about it, because there’s every chance it will put a crashing end to all of this.

 

 

Finn and Rey have both changed clothes when they turn up at his quarters. Poe has too, but he’s got more clothes to choose from than they do. Plus along with the food, his father insisted he take half a dozen shirts and a pair of pants that he claimed were too small for him, but Poe has his suspicions that Kes took one look at the frayed tunic Poe turned up in and decided no son of his would show his face in it in public again. He got Poe a new jacket too - Kes is built broader than him, but he knows what suits the Dameron shoulders.

Because smooth is one of the things he never learned to be, Poe gapes at them for a second before he blurts out, “Hey, you two look great!”

They exchange a pleased glance. “Told you,” Rey says, holding out her fist for Finn to bump it. Which means not only is this deliberate, but they consulted each other and intended for Poe to notice. They look so proud that he has, he’s glad he said something.

The three of them put a good dent in Kes’s provisions: the same spicy rice from the street market he ate that first night; slices of cured meat; a cheese from the milk of an animal Poe has to describe to them because even if he could remember what it was called in Basic, they’ve never seen it. It may not even live anywhere other than Yavin.

Poe peels them a deep orange fruit and then has to busy himself clearing away dishes so as not to stare as Finn licks juice from his fingers. It’s not much easier to ignore Rey when she copies him.

He thinks he hears them whispering, but the running water drowns out what they say. Besides, if they were whispering, they don’t want him to hear it anyway.

BB-8 is playing a holo movie when he comes back in from the fresher. Poe doesn’t pay much attention at first, until suddenly a familiar line of dialogue catches his ear and he freezes.

“BB-8, did you choose this one?”

The droid beeps a negative.

“I did,” Finn says. “Well, we did.” He looks at Rey. Rey is looking towards Poe but not actually _at_ him. Maybe somewhere to the side of his right ear.

“Do you, uh, know what it’s about?” Poe asks carefully.

“Yeah, we’ve seen it before, haven’t you?”

Poe opens his mouth to answer, then stops.

Maybe it’s tamer than he remembers. Maybe they’ve been given a sanitised version without the pushing-the-limits of softcore sex scene he remembers. Perhaps neither of them really react to porn. “Not for a long time,” he says.

 

Everything that happens after that is his own fault.

Finn shifts one way and Rey shifts the other, so the only place he can sit is in between them on the bed. Well. He could have pulled up a chair, but he doesn’t. He could have insisted on a different holo – if he’d told them he wanted to show them something from Yavin, he’s pretty sure they would have let him.

Instead he just sits there and waits for it, and knows he’s going to go along with anything they suggest.

He has plenty of time to regret all the decisions in his life that have led up to this point. The fact that 10 years ago, this would have been like a fantasy come true: two people he likes, and trusts, and the tantalising anticipation that they’re about to proposition him. He’s never made a point of broadcasting that he doesn’t necessarily want the same things any more. He thinks maybe he should have done, but it’s too late now. Either his own behaviour or what people have said about him means Finn thinks he knows what Poe wants, and he’s got it all wrong.

Nothing has even happened yet, and he can already feel an acid twist of jealousy he has no right to. Of course Finn wants to experiment, Poe ought to be glad to be involved at all, not complaining that this wasn’t what he wanted.

When the scene comes on – the two friends who make out in front of third, who eventually joins in – he pastes his best man-of-the-world smile on his face and turns to Finn.

“Finn, buddy, I get the feeling you chose this holo for a reason…”

Finn’s face breaks out into that smile he never could say no to.

“Well we watched it, and I was curious, and so was Rey, and then I thought maybe you’d be, you know…”

“Be able to tell you it can get complicated?” he manages. It’s not much of a stall but he’s got to _try_ at least. When you see the ground rushing up at you, you’ve got to at least attempt to pull out of the dive.

“No, we guessed that. But that’s why I thought you’d be the right person to come to, because you’ve done - stuff and you know how to not make it weird,” says Finn.

Finn is gazing at him so earnestly it breaks his heart. Poe knows with absolute certainty that he does not mean to imply they’ll ask someone else if Poe says no: he’s pretty sure this is an offer for him or no-one. Even so, a small, very stupid and very petty part of him that he tries never to listen to is saying, _who’s it gonna be if it ain’t you, Dameron?_

“What do think, Poe Dameron?” asks Finn. His voice is very low, and very close, and if Poe hadn’t already made up his mind that voice would have convinced him. He feels himself relaxing into Finn as Finn’s arm comes round his waist from behind. He hasn’t said yes yet, but his body is saying it for him.

Finn’s attention shifts to Rey, and Poe turns to her too. She hasn’t said anything yet, and if he knows anything about Rey, it’s that she doesn’t let anyone speak for her, not even Finn.

Rey isn’t smiling. There’s a frown of concentration on her face, like she’s listening to a sound so faint only she can hear it. She might be curious, sure, but this isn’t the expression of a woman who’s ready to join in.

Poe’s the goddamn adult here, and she is so much younger than him. They both are, but at least with Finn he has a reference point: Rey might not have done this with anybody before, for all he knows.

“Rey, are you - ” he begins, but before he can finish she’s asking him the same thing. “Are you sure you want to do this?” she says.

Finn is kissing the back of his neck, one hand is splayed across his abs, not even moving. Just resting there, a point of warmth on his skin. Poe’s not sure at all, but he isn’t going to say no, so it comes down to the same thing really.

“Yeah,” he manages, and he already sounds half way to wrecked. “If you are.”

“I’m sure I want to be here. To see. I don’t know if I’ll like it yet, but I want to find out,” she says. Firm, totally matter of fact. As if she was talking about a test flight in a new ship, or eating something she’s never tried before.

Maybe he was that fearless when he was her age. He can’t remember now, but he doesn’t think so. He doesn’t think anyone has ever been as fearless as Rey.

“Ok. Ok then. Just – no one will take it the wrong way if you don’t, or if you want to stop, or - ”

“Yes, I know,” she says. “That’s why I chose you two.”

“But you know,” he presses, “a lot of people pick just one person, when they’re still getting started, so…”

Rey just looks at him, almost like a challenge. Like she’s reminding him what she can do with the Force, as if that had anything to do with anything. Maybe it does. Maybe that’s what makes her so brave: if you know you can raze a mountain with your bare hands, going to bed with two people at once is no big deal. She holds his gaze, and her whole body seems to be asking him, _which one of us isn’t sure about this anyway - me or you?_

“We talked about this,” Finn murmurs, and that hand tucked inside Poe’s shirt starts moving, sending shivers down his spine. “Rey knows what she wants.”

That startles a laugh out of him. “Oh, I believe it,” he says, and finally she smiles at him.

 

Which is how Poe finds himself in Finn’s lap five minutes later, kissing him like his life depends on it, while Rey watches them from the end of the bed.

It feels like Finn is watching him too, like both of them are looking for cracks, stress points where he might break. So he has to prove he won’t, doesn’t he? He hides his face in Finn’s shoulder, just focuses on the feel of Finn hard against him, Finn’s hands careful on his ribs, sweeping up and down his back, on his hips to tug him closer.

Rey doesn’t come any closer, but he is constantly aware of her gaze on him, turning him on and making his skin crawl in equal measure. Whatever idea they may have of him, he’s never actually done this with more than one person in the room before. If Finn was just a guy he liked a normal amount, it might be great. If he was their age, he might be able to kid himself that amazing sex is the answer - he still has most of his clothes on, and he already knows this is going to be amazing sex. It always is, with Finn. Finn pays attention to every moan and every hitch of his breath, and Poe’s body responds so powerfully to him he doesn’t stand a chance.

This time there’s Rey too, who _sees_ things. Not that one time with the Force, which she didn’t mean, but all the time. She knows how he feels about Finn, he thinks. If she doesn’t, she’s about to find out.

When Poe stands up to get out of his pants, Finn reaches for Rey and it’s so much more painful than he’d expected that it takes his breath away. Their kiss is slow and soft, exploratory, and he just stands there in his underwear, aching as he watches them. They’re so beautiful together he could swear they both _glow_ \-- he ought to feel privileged that they want him here for this, that they’re trusting him with it. Instead it’s like there’s something sharp twisting inside him, worse than any time he watched Finn walk away with his arm around somebody else.

Rey blinks and sits back on her heels, licks her lips once. That line of concentration is still there between her eyebrows when she turns to Poe.

Finn’s looking at him too, and for a second there’s a matching frown on his face, like there’s something he doesn’t understand. When Poe smiles at him, he brightens and tugs Poe back into his lap, but it’s Rey’s mouth that meets his in a kiss that feels even gentler than the one she gave Finn. Somehow it makes his head spin.

Everything is a blur of feeling and sensation after that. Finn pulls him out of the rest of his clothes and gets undressed himself, but Poe can’t think how he did it. He just knows they’re both naked and Rey isn’t: she’s moved back again, and her assessing gaze is making it even harder for him not to fall apart completely.

Finn is fingering him open, working the slick inside him so that he gasps and bears down and tries, tries, not to show how desperate he is for it. Finn’s kissing his throat, his collarbone, anywhere he can reach, and when his fingers brush against the right spot Poe gasps and Finn says, “Like that? Is that -”

“Yeah,” Poe pants. “More - ” and he kisses Finn so that he won’t have to talk.

Finn’s never made him say it out loud before, but when he’s lined up, his cock a blunt pressure resting against Poe’s hole, he holds still and asks, “You want me to? Or -”

Poe can’t think, he doesn’t know what that ‘or’ means. He knows he wants Finn to fuck him. Even with Rey watching, he wants Finn to fuck him. Split him open, wreck him, make him come so hard that nothing matters any more.

Finn has both hands on his ass, spreading him open, but he nuzzles at Poe’s jaw, making Poe look at him.

“Poe, tell me,” he says. “Is this – do you want -” he’s breathing hard, holding Poe steady, poised there waiting for his cock but not letting him get any closer.

Finn doesn’t look at Rey, but Poe can’t help it. She’s flushed, biting her lip with very white teeth. Even though she’s an arm’s length away from them, it’s like she’s touching him somehow.

“What do _you_ want?” Poe asks her. It’s the last bit of composure he’s got.

The smile Rey gives him is almost sad. It’s the sort of smile statues have: something old and not-quite eternal, that knows more than you do.

She shakes her head. “ _You_ have to decide,” she tells him, and for a second he’s convinced she means something else entirely.

“Poe?” Finn says. He sounds almost as desperate as Poe feels. If he let himself, he could almost convince himself they’re both grasping to find some kind of resolution in this, trying to get sex to mean something.

“Yeah,” Poe says. “Do it,” and Finn groans and pulls him down onto his erection in one smooth slide.

They’ve dragged this out for Rey’s benefit, and now Finn is finally inside him it’s even more intense than usual. It’s so good Poe can’t catch his breath, every slow thrust making him bite his lip to not gasp out loud. Finn’s hands are firm on his hips, guiding his movements, rocking deeper and deeper into him until he can’t go any deeper. Poe is stretched open and filled, no defences left, and he doesn’t want to defend himself anyway. Oh, later he’ll wish he had, but he never was any good at self-preservation. He wouldn’t have joined the Resistance if he were.

He squeezes his eyes shut and clings to Finn, tries to get him to do it faster, harder; anything except this unbearable sweetness. Finn speeds up slightly, but hard and fast really isn’t his style. Poe’s just got to take it, to ride it out, hold it together long enough not to embarrass himself in front of Rey.

Finn reaches up to find Poe’s hand, guide it down to his own cock, and Poe can’t help the groan that escapes him at the sight of their two hands wrapped around him.

“Rey do you want to -?” Finn asks, and Finn is _offering_ him to her, he’s held here, split open by Finn’s cock and Rey’s gaze, and it isn’t what he wants but he’s so turned on he can’t bear it, he can’t hold out any longer. Rey shakes her head and when Finn puts a twist in his stroke Poe breaks with a sob and pants out an endless orgasm into their joined hands.

Finn eases him through it, kissing his neck and whispering, “Poe, yeah, yeah,” and then both his hands are back on Poe’s hips, guiding him to move exactly how Finn wants him until he stiffens and holds Poe still as he comes deep inside him with a cry.

Finn wraps his arms around Poe and holds him very tight and doesn’t pull out.

That’s fine with Poe. He keeps his face tucked into the side of Finn’s neck and doesn’t even try to move. He can’t, and he doesn’t want to. He would stay here forever in this illusion of intimacy if Finn would let him, sticky with come and sweat. Finn is holding him tight so he does the same, rubs soothing circles on Finn’s back. He doesn’t know why, but it feels like Finn needs it. They just breathe into each other and Poe lets himself not think about anything and be perfectly happy.

That’s when he senses movement to his left and Rey announces in a strange high voice, “I should go now.”

She doesn’t give them time to say anything: she’s on her feet and out the door before her words have even registered.

The change in mood is absolutely brutal.

Poe is horribly aware that he is naked, that Finn’s cock is still inside him, that they just fucked in front of her and there is no way he kept up any kind of pretence that this was just casual for him.

Possibly the most terrifying thing he’s ever done in his life is lift his head and look at Finn.

Finn blinks at him and doesn’t let go, doesn’t try to push him off. That little line is back between his eyebrows, and it’s only a matter of time now. Finn is very smart, and if he hasn’t already caught on it’s only because he’s a good person who doesn’t want to think Poe has been misleading him about what this is.

They look at each other for a moment, and it’s the most bittersweet moment Poe can remember. One pure second before they engage with what they’ve done.

“What – why did she leave? What’s wrong?” Finn asks. Then he frowns for real.

“Yeah,” Poe says. He starts to get up, but he has no leverage in this position and Finn says, “Wait,” and helps him up. He doesn’t stay up – he flops down on his back next to Finn and doesn’t even care about the mess he’s making of the sheets.

Finn turns to him. “Poe, are you - ”

“I’m great, buddy,” Poe lies. He doesn’t think that was really what Finn was going to ask.

Finn nods. It’s a nod of _I heard what you said_ rather than _I_ _accept and believe what you just said_. His whole face is a study in reserving judgement.

“I should – I should go and see if she’s ok, shouldn’t I?”

Poe wants to say, _no, stay here with me_. He wants to curl around Finn and hold him here, pull Finn down next to him and kiss him until they fall asleep.

Instead he says, “Yeah. Yeah, think so.”

Because Finn should. Rey is fearless and all-powerful, but she didn’t sound entirely ok. She is so much younger than he is, so if either of them needs Finn right now, it has to be Rey. Poe’s done this before, he doesn’t need his hand holding afterwards.

“Right,” Finn says. But he doesn’t get up immediately; he looks at Poe for a second like he’s trying to read something off his face. Then he leans in and presses a kiss to Poe’s mouth, another to his cheek and a last one to his forehead.

“I’ll come back, ok?” he says.

“Sure,” Poe agrees. It’s nice of Finn to say it, anyway.

Maybe this was misjudged, but he can’t argue that Finn was just trying to give everybody what they said they wanted.

 

Perhaps Finn really will come back, but Poe can’t bear to stay here waiting for him. After a perfunctory clean up, he picks his clothes up off the floor and gets dressed in exactly what he was wearing earlier. Finn’s jacket is still there, the one that used to be his, slung on the back of his chair. He gets the hell out of there before he can start wondering if that means something.

He finds his squadron squeezed into Iolo’s quarters, and a drunken cheer goes up when they see him. Karé is doing exactly as he told her for once, and sharing the Yavin rum so effectively the bottle is almost empty.

“I’m too sober for this party,” he tells them, but they can tell he doesn’t mean it: they’re already shuffling round to make space for him while Karé pours what’s left of the bottle into what looks like a repurposed bio sample container and presses it into his hand.

“This stuff,” she declares, “is the best alcohol on all the known worlds, and we love you for bringing it to us. Don’t we?”

Another cheer goes up, complete with stamping of feet, and whooping Poe’s name, just in case he wanted to deny responsibility for anything later. It’s exactly what he needs right now: a drink; some noisy, uncomplicated affection. No one’s going to ask him what he’s been doing tonight, so he doesn’t have to think about it.

He holds up his makeshift glass in a toast. “Hey, I love you guys too,” he says sincerely, and they’re at that point of drunken exuberance where that makes them cheer again.

When the rum is gone, Snap insists on going to get another bottle so Poe can catch up, and Poe doesn’t stop him. Why _shouldn’t_ he have a drink with his squadron?

“This is from _my_ homeworld,” Snap announces, “the one none of you ever remember the name of -” he is almost shouted down by a string of fond but obscene variations on his planet’s name, “ – so maybe you don’t deserve any - ” but he’s already filling the glasses they hold out to him.

The end of the evening is a bit of a blur.

Poe feels loose-limbed and relaxed and he _loves_ these people: they’re his _squadron,_ they deserted with him and they’ve got his back. Everything is ok and nothing is wrong, except he’s just a little bit unsteady on his feet maybe. He stumbles as they all pile out of Karé’s quarters, and would have fallen if Jess and Snap hadn’t caught him. They prop him up as he sways, one on either side, and he loves them so much he doesn’t even mind that they’re laughing at him.

“Are you giving me The Smile?” Snap asks him. “He is! Look, you’re all my witnesses - ”

“Put it on your resumé! ‘Poe Dameron gave me The Smile when he was too drunk to see straight’, you can say.”

“Shut up, The Smile is The Smile, I will treasure it forever,” Snap says, and kisses him on the cheek so loudly it makes his ears ring.

“We need to get him to bed,” Bastian says behind them, with the seriousness of the very drunk. “Boss, you can’t go round the base smiling at people like that.”

For some reason Poe doesn’t want to go to bed, but right this minute he can’t remember why.

“I’m not too drunk to see straight,” he protests.

“See?” Snap yells, but then Jess is taking over.

“We should all get him to bed,” she tells them. “Then no one can get jealous that anyone else got The Smile.”

“You can all have the smile,” Poe slurs as she steers him down the hallway with an arm round his waist. He doesn’t need her help, of course he doesn’t, but she’s his friend and she’s being kind, so he lets her do it. Camaraderie. That’s what it is. Camaraderie will get you a long way. He needs more camaraderie in his life. He considers adding this, but before he can make the word come out Jess is saying:

“Exactly. See this, you guys? This is exemplary leadership. We _all_ get The Smile. You should save it for us, _we_ appreciate you.”

That statement is _much_ too complicated to unpick right now, so he doesn’t.

Finn’s jacket is still on the back of the chair when they lurch into his quarters, but maybe no one notices. Jess sort of drops him onto the wreck of his bed, and the next thing he knows he’s lying face down while somebody clumsily tugs his boots off. It’s nice of them, whoever it is - he could do it himself, no problem, but sitting up seems like a lot of effort right now. There’s a conversation going on above his head in loud whispers. He wants to tell them he can hear them, but that seems like a lot of effort too and when he tries to concentrate he isn’t really sure what they’re talking about anyway. Then someone else is wrestling him out of his jacket, and Snap is patting him on the shoulder and muttering, “It’ll seem better in the morning, boss, you’ll see.”

Poe doesn’t know what he means, but the room is spinning just a little bit so he closes his eyes for a minute and while he’s waiting for it to stop, he falls asleep.

He dreams about statues, and someone knocking at his door who he knows he shouldn’t let in.

**

He’s woken by all the emergency alarms on the base going off.

There might be worse ways to wake up, but right now he really can’t remember any. He sits bolt upright, heart pounding, his head spinning so horribly he just stays there and breathes through it until it slows down. He pushes the blankets off and lurches across the room to where BB-8 has just powered up and crashes to his knees next to him a lot harder than he meant to.

“BB, can I fly?” he says, holding out his hand. They don’t have enough pilots left to afford the luxury of a squadron leader who sits it out with a hangover.

BB-8 makes one tiny pinprick on the pad of one finger, then beeps, <you shouldn’t, but you can.>

“Right. Yeah. I know. Let’s go then,” he says. He slept in his clothes, apparently, which would even be an advantage if he’d showered properly last night. As it is, he probably stinks of sex and alcohol, but there’s no time to worry about that now. He shoves his feet into his boots and runs for the flight hangars, BB-8 hard on his heels.

General Organa is already there, her hair in one simple braid down her back but otherwise fully dressed and in charge of the situation.

“Three of our cargo ships under attack just at the edge of the system. They’ve counted 30 Tie fighters,” she starts telling him, then she gets a proper look at him and her face falls. “Poe, are you alright? Can you fly?”

He really feels very sick and very ashamed, and he probably doesn’t deserve it that she asked about him before she asked if he could fly.

“I can fly,” he says, holding up his pricked finger as proof.

She winces, but claps him on the shoulder and turns to hear 3-PO’s update.

While he’s suiting up and listening in to the sitrep, Rey comes tearing across the duracrete. Chewbacca waves her over from where he’s standing by the Falcon’s ramp, but she slows when she sees Poe. He waves stupidly at her before he can think of anything better to do. Still, she waves back at him. He probably doesn’t deserve that either.

There’s no sign of Finn. But then Finn isn’t a pilot, he’s in the tactical team. There’s no reason for him to be here.

His squadron are all present and accounted for: bleary-eyed and rueful, or chewing alcohol neutralisation tablets, but ready to fly all the same.

**

It’s a clusterfuck as soon as they jump out of hyperspace. They’re outnumbered, and one of the cargo ships is already dead in space. Maybe the life support is still working but the ship is drifting, black scorch marks all down one side.

Their only advantages are the fact that Poe knows how a Tie fighter handles now, and General Organa’s voice on the comms saying, “Finn thinks they’re just picking off easy targets to provoke us – go in hard and there’s a good chance they’ll back off.”

“Copy that,” Poe replies. “Black leader to all squadrons: we’re going in hard. Take out as many as you can, as fast as you can, then let’s get home for breakfast.”

There’s a chorus of acknowledgement in his earpiece as he adds, “Falcon, you’re with me, we’re gonna target the ones furthest from us, ok?”

“Got it,” says Rey, then very fast she adds, “Sorry about yesterday.”

“Yeah, me too,” says Poe, because there isn’t time to say anything else. “On my mark – engage.”

It almost works.

Naked aggression scatters the fighters away from the ships, and they take out 6 before they can regroup. Then it’s a dirty, messy dogfight around the freighters, every turn a collision that almost happens. Even in zero grav it makes your head spin and your stomach lurch, and Poe is almost sick the whole time he’s manoeuvring.

“Get that ship out of here as soon as you can make the jump!” he orders, and seconds later two X wings flash away into hyperspace towing the damaged ship between them. A second freighter follows, and then all the Ties are in formation and focused on the remaining ship.

Poe doesn’t actually remember what happens next.

He knows his X wing was hit, and that Rey in the Falcon pulled a move that shouldn’t have worked but did.

All he can remember is BB-8’s anguished beeping as he brought them down short of the landing strip. He knows he must have got out of the ship, because he remembers standing in wet grass, feeling something warm on his face as his head span.

He vaguely remembers throwing up, and seeing Rey running towards him, like time is rewinding and they’ve gone back to the moment before takeoff. She’s shouting something, and then he probably does something embarrassing like pass out.

**

There is an argument going on over his head when he wakes up. He’s lying on his side somewhere warm and comfortable that smells and sounds a lot like medbay. He spent a lot of time in here while Finn was recovering, so he should know.

“There is a line of people waiting to tenderly wipe his brow as he recovers from a very minor concussion and a bit of a hangover,” General Organa is saying, “so please explain to me why I should risk a mutiny by letting the pair of you cut to the front of that line?”

“I have to apologise!” Finn’s voice replies.

Poe ought to tell them he’s awake, but his head is throbbing and there is a very real risk he will be sick again if he moves. He feels about as bad as Finn sounds.

“What could you possibly have done that requires such an urgent apology?”

There is a pause.

“I can’t tell you,” says Finn. Poe still hasn’t opened his eyes, but he can imagine the face General Organa is making.

“Nothing _that_ bad,” Rey offers. “But we’d still feel better if we could just, you know - ”

“Make him accept an apology when he’s weak and disorientated? Yes, I can see the appeal of that.”

She is probably teasing them, but Poe finds a sudden wave of protectiveness welling up in him towards them both. It isn’t _their_ fault he makes bad decisions. It’s especially not Rey’s fault

“M’okay,” he croaks, blinking his eyes open.

The three of them turn in sync, and three concerned faces smile down at him. Leia puts a warm hand on his shoulder and says,

“You hit your head when your ship was hit and lost consciousness for a little while when you landed. You’ll be fine in a day or two.”

Her voice is low, very calm. Poe lets his eyes drift close when she brushes the hair out of his face, then forces himself to ask:

“Everyone else?”

“Yes. No casualties. I’ll brief you properly when you’re up and about.”

“Mm,” he grunts. It wasn’t what he meant to say. He meant to say _yes ma’am_ , or _I’m fine you can brief me now_.

He forces his eyes again. “C’n I talk to Finn an’ Rey?” He didn’t mean to say that either, he doesn’t think. He would have slurred less if he’d meant to say it.

General Organa rolls her eyes and plants her hands on her hips.

“Sometimes I think my own mistakes in life have at least served as a warning to young people, and then you all come along and I realise it was all in vain,” she says, but she steps out of the way and there is Finn, coming close and smiling uncertainly, Rey at his shoulder.

Poe flails out with one hand and Finn takes it. Rey pats the back of his hand like she doesn’t quite know what to do with him: it’s such an honest reaction he can’t help grinning at her. At least, he means it for her, and she seems to take it as such: she nods once at him, squeezes Finn’s arm and slips away.

Finn stays right where he is, holding Poe’s hand.

“Hi Poe,” he begins softly. “How are you feeling?”

“M’fine,” Poe tells him. “S’all fine.”

Then he is sick right next to Finn’s feet.

 

He is fine though, really. There’s a lump on the back of his head and a cut just above his eyebrow that the med droid seals in such a neat line even Poe can barely see it.

“I’m putting you on two days medical leave, to be on the safe side,” Dr Kalenia tells him. “Go back to your quarters and sleep it off.”

She wanted a med droid to escort him, but half of rapier squadron are still waiting for him outside.

“Make sure he doesn’t fall over on the way back,” she tells them. “And then I’m trusting you to keep an eye on him but let him rest, alright?”

They nod obediently.

Poe’s pretty sure he won’t fall over, but he still appreciates the escort. Even if it’s a lot more subdued than last night, the intention is the same. They’re looking out for him. They don’t follow him in: Jess squeezes his shoulder and Karé pats him on the back and Iolo says, “We’ll come back later to make sure you’re alright, ok boss?”

 

Instead it’s Finn who comes back later.

He knocks very quietly, and looks surprised when Poe answers the door.

“I thought you might be asleep,” he says.

Poe doesn’t ask why he came if he thought he’d be asleep. He just smiles and says,

“Nope, here I am, wide awake. You wanna come in?”

“Yes,” says Finn. He sounds very determined, and Poe has a sinking feeling he’s about to be let down gently. For maximum efficiency, they can skip right past that conversation they never had where Poe was going to embarrass himself anyway, and go straight into the aftermath. Not many people get to crash and burn twice in one day, once literally and once figuratively, but it looks like he can pull it off.

“I forgot my jacket,” Finn says, pointing to where it’s still draped over the back of Poe’s chair. “If – that is, can I still have it?”

“Course you can still have it! It’s yours, it’s yours as long as you want it. For keeps,” Poe says, reaching for it and pressing it into Finn’s hands.

Maybe Finn doesn’t want it any more. But then why would he have brought it up if he didn’t want it?

“Ok. Good. That’s really good,” Finn says.

Poe doesn’t mean to look confused, but his head still aches so perhaps he’s giving away more than he means to. Finn stands there holding the jacket, then folds it and puts it carefully down on the back of the chair again.

He looks at Poe, and Poe has no idea what to say. The conversation feels like it’s happening to someone else. Well, maybe someone else will do a better job of it than Poe.

Finn fiddles with the jacket, straightens the sleeve out once, then again. He’s stalling. Poe doesn’t blame him. He isn’t in any more of a rush to hear this than Finn is to say it.

Finally Finn offers, “I think – I don’t really know you very well at all, do I?”

Poe sinks down to sit back on his bed, back against the wall. You can’t have conversations like this standing in the middle of the room like duellists.

“Sure you do,” he says. “You know what I like - ” he doesn’t mean sex, but still he shivers at the sense memory of Finn pressing deep and slow inside him.

“I know _some_ of what you like,” Finn concedes, “but I definitely don’t know what you want.”

“Ha. Yeah, join the club, buddy.”

Finn looks down at him, crosses his arms. “You know, that’s a good line, but I don’t think it’s true.”

“See, you do know me after all.”

Finn shakes his head, exhales sharply. It sounds a lot like frustration.

“Look, do you want me to go? I just wanted to say I was sorry for yesterday, so uh. I’m sorry for yesterday, it was a bad idea and I didn’t look out for you. I’ll leave you alone - ”

“No don’t,” Poe says, and grabs his hand. “Don’t.”

Finn stops. He doesn’t pull his hand away, but he doesn’t say anything.

“It was a bad idea, but I knew that too and I still said yes. It’s my own fault if - ” Poe waves his hand in the air. “If I got in over my head,” he finishes.

“Join the club, buddy,” Finn throws back at him.

They grin at each other. Gallows humour, but it lightens the moods all the same.

“Rey’s mad at me, you know,” Finn tells the floor. “She said - ”

“I don’t want to know,” Poe pleads. But Finn is implacable.

“She said I shouldn’t have gotten her involved, that it’s between you and me. And also that she doesn’t get why you’d say yes to something you didn’t want.”

Poe blinks at him. That’s a good question.

“Why _did_ you say yes?”

“I refer you to my previous answer,” Poe mutters. Then he corrects himself. “No, look, ok – I thought it was what you wanted, and I’m not. I’m not - very good at saying no to you.”

Finn steps closer until his knees touch the bed, reaches out for Poe’s other hand. Poe gives it to him, and Finn runs his thumb over Poe’s knuckles, a tiny caress like a kiss on an ice planet.

“I thought it was the sort of thing _you_ wanted,” Finn says softly. There’s gravel in his voice.

“Nah,” Poe says, “it was what I thought I could get.”

Finn’s face twists and then crumples, and before Poe can get to his feet Finn has stepped close and pulled him into an awkward hug. Poe’s face is mashed into his stomach and he wraps his arms around Finn’s hips and just breathes him in.

 

Poe doesn’t ask him to, but Finn stays while he showers. Poe takes clean clothes in to the fresher with him and closes the door, and when he comes out Finn is still there.

Later Finn goes away and comes back with something hot and fragrant to drink. Poe stretches out and falls asleep, and when he wakes up it’s raining outside and Finn is still there.

He’s sitting at the window, watching the rain fall. When he sees Poe is awake he comes over to sit on the end of the bed. Poe pulls his feet up to make space. He doesn’t pull them up too far though: he can feel Finn’s leg against his toes.

“It’s very relaxing, listening to rain,” Finn says.

“Yeah. Rains a lot where I’m from. You’d like it.”

“I like the food already,” Finn agrees. “And I like you, so -”

Poe nudges him with his toes and Finn grins at him.

Now that Finn’s reminded him that food is a thing, Poe finds he’s starving. They eat most of what’s left of the food from Yavin, but Poe sets aside a portion of the cheese and fruit.

“When you see Rey, tell her I saved this for her ok?” he says.

Finn’s teeth are very white when he smiles.

 

Poe goes back into the fresher to change into sleep clothes. He’s aware there’s something ridiculous about it, when Finn has already seen him naked and turned on and begging for it, not to mention bleeding and unconscious. But getting ready for bed in front of someone is different.

When he comes out, Finn looks at him and gets to his feet like this is his cue to leave.

“You wanna stay here?” Poe blurts out. “I got a spare toothbrush – I mean I’m fine, you don’t have to, but - ”

“Yeah, I do.” Finn says. “Want to, I mean. I want to stay.”

Poe can’t quite believe how easy it is.

 

He lies there listening to rain falling on leaves outside, Finn running water in the fresher.

When Finn slides under the covers next to him, Poe turns on his side to face him.

“Have you got enough room?” he asks.

He doesn’t want to make this about sex right now, but he doesn’t want Finn to think he has to keep his hands to himself sleep and on the edge of the mattress either.

Finn turns to face him too, one knee brushing Poe’s and Poe presses into the contact. What he really wants is to slide his arm around Finn’s waist, relax against him. Maybe in a minute he will. But right now just their knees are touching and Finn is smiling at him like he’s never seen him before.

“What?” Poe asks, smiling back.

“Nothing,” Finn says. He shifts a little bit closer, a tiny increment like a building settling, metal cooling.

“Can I ask you something?” Finn whispers when they are almost asleep.

Poe considers not answering. He really is on the edge of sleep; he could just stay exactly where he is and Finn will drop it.

Instead he says, “Mm.” It takes an enormous effort to drag that sound out: it comes from somewhere geological, down in his bones. He hopes Finn appreciates it.

“When you’re not concussed any more,” Finn begins, “do you think you’ll still want – you know – to - ”

Moving is even harder than words. Moss could grow on him, it could rain in here and he would just lie right where he is. But for that unfinished question, he makes all the muscles in his left arm work, and he reaches out. He doesn’t even have to pull; Finn moves like he can read Poe’s mind, brings them flush against each other, his face in Poe’s neck, his hair soft against Poe’s chin.

“Yeah,” Poe says. “Yeah, I think I’ll want to.”

He feels Finn’s mouth curve against his throat. Or maybe he just thinks he can.

He doesn’t open his eyes, but he knows his old jacket is still here, the one he gave Finn. It’s right where Finn put it down again on that chair. Finn’s pants and shirt are there too, and his boots, and the plate he ate from. Finn is right here, curled into Poe, breathing against him like a tide.

In the morning, maybe it will still be raining. Maybe when they wake up, they’ll lie here and listen to all the different sounds the water makes as it falls on metal and stone and leaves and grass. And then, if he isn’t concussed any more, Poe thinks he will still want to. He wants to jerks Finn off until he comes, and kiss every sound he makes out of his mouth. He wants to roll Finn onto his back and slick him up, slide into him while he looks into his eyes. He wants Finn to come to Yavin with him, meet his dad, stand under the trees, see the place where Shara landed her X wing all those years ago. They’ll bring something back for Rey.

He wants to be like the rain, like the forest, like everything Finn didn’t have before and thought he never would. He wants to be all the things that exist in the gaps in the war, where ordinary life seeps in, and things grow.

Poe relaxes completely into Finn, and sleep pulls him under.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Look, resolution! I hope the suffering/happy ending ratio was worth the wait - come hang out on [Tumblr](http://deputychairman.tumblr.com/) and tell me what to write next because this one was crowdsourced and you people have GREAT ideas!


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